REAL TALK: My Eyes Are Up Here, Buddy!

©Andrei Park/shutterstock

by Junita Thakorlal

Ok, so here’s the thing – your mother, sister, and daughter also have breasts. How much longer are you going to stare at mine?

I must admit, my breasts are ah-mazing. Sounds facetious but they really are pretty gorgeous. I know this because I’ve been told umpteen times, not to mention caught lewd gawkers by the dozen as well as those a bit subtler who steal silent glances, all rather enjoying themselves. Boob-grazing is not a mistake either, we are definitely onto you.

Being heavy-chested isn’t all peaches and cream – even when my tatas aren’t on parade, it’s as if they are anyways. Button up shirts require safety pins to get rid of the boob-gap, crop tops reveal underboob, and just about everything else challenges the societal rule of what constitutes modesty by all South Asian standards. I can’t hide these babies even if I tried. No matter what I wear, my cleavage pops out to serve.

Can you relate?

I’m not sure what the show is about though, all women have the same body parts. And by women, this includes mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, grandmothers, neighbours, co-workers, etc. I am kind of tired of feeling self-conscious and trying unsuccessfully to hide them behind an oversized bed sheet in an effort to divert attention from them. You know that I have them, and I know that you know that I have them, so what is there to hide?

“Oh, I’m sorry, are my spectacular melons distracting you from talking to my face?” This is what I feel like saying every time I enter a conversation with someone who forgets where my eyes are. Basic social etiquette when meeting someone is to shake hands and make eye contact while chatting, this is what I learned in Career Prep in the 10th grade; I must have missed the class where women grant permission to be sexualized just because we were born with breasts. I’ve become an expert in hair flipping, placing my locks just so, hiding the full-frontal view from prying eyes.

There are plenty of well-endowed women out there who are perfectly fine with a man liking their assets, me being one of them in the correct circumstance such as going on a date, going to the beach, or when I CHOOSE to expose my bosom. Choice gives me a moment to mentally prepare myself for a visual feast rather than hide from a visual assault. It is your prerogative to flaunt them if you choose to want the extra attention or, if you’re like me, unable to hide them without a scarf. But please, is it not possible for men to be a bit more tactful about ogling bustlines, especially when in a business setting, being a family member, or at the temple in the house of God? All three of these scenarios are just wrong, and yet I’m POSITIVE each of you reading this has felt shame in at least one of these situations, almost as if you were wearing sexy lingerie on the outside.

Some women go for breast augmentation while others go for reductions, usually because of how they feel, or made to feel, about their bodies rather than for medical reasons. Mother Nature’s floating devices are a gift to mankind, don’t change this for anyone other than yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your lady lumps, they are beautiful at any size.

I see you. I acknowledge your gorgeous rack. My advice to you is to always to keep your shoulders back and chin up, and never let anyone make you feel less than amazing because they can’t figure out where your eyes are.